Without getting into the specifics of which applications they should or should not use, our discussions with our kids must still include our expectation that they be the same person online as they are in their everyday life in Litchfield, Connecticut, and the other locales they visit. If they wouldn’t walk up to a perfect stranger on the street and ask that person’s advice, they shouldn’t do that online either. If they wouldn’t express their frustration or anger to a teacher or a friend face-to-face, they shouldn’t hide behind their computer screen. If they wouldn't swear, use vulgarity, or --shame in public, they shouldn't ignore those instincts in texts, messages, and posts. The cyberworld is not a place to unleash a side of themselves about which they will never feel proud. They are who their actions say they are, regardless of who knows about it. Bullying someone online makes you a bully; sharing an explicit photo online makes you a pornographer; creating a false identity to spy on or harass someone online makes you a stalker.
In truth, much of the “chatter” in their electronic world is teen-centered and harmless. But, some of it is not. When it is mean, targeted, and especially when it’s anonymous, this “chatter” is dangerous. While some people claim it nothing more than the modern version of the "for a good time call Sally" graffiti we dealt with on the walls in the school restrooms, others find it much more far-reaching and insidious. Unlike the bathroom wall which can be painted over, cyberworld graffiti cannot be undone and might haunt both the victim and the perpetrator long into adulthood. The following three topics are examples of how our teens may be participating in the electronic world. These applications only skim the surface; and very quickly, they will be usurped by others.
After School: the App
This is a relatively new application. It is billed as “Funny Anonymous School News For Confessions And Compliments.” Supposedly, a teen can share his or her inner most thoughts without fear of ridicule or backlash. It was a place to get advice about deep issues, such as the best way to tell your parents you’re pregnant, or gay, or have an online gambling problem. In short, it's a vehicle to poll other teens (strangers, however) about the everyday problems they face… or, a way to just share a great piece of news and celebrate being a kid. But a quick look at its anonymity feature reveals an uglier truth; and anyone can quickly see how this application can wreak havoc in a school community.
This app checks your credentials against Facebook to ensure that you are a student. The lack of a school/student affiliation is what shuts adults and parents out. The app then connects you to other students all of whom post anonymously. It is this anonymity which makes the application so dangerous to the school environment. While the application was envisioned as a safe space for high schoolers to discuss sensitive issues without having to reveal their names, in truth posters have no accountability for the nature of their posts and any kind of natural peer-to-peer monitoring disappears. Anonymous posters can openly spread rumors, name-call, body-shame, send threats, or even tell someone the best solution to the problem is to kill themself.
Apple removed After School from its App store a while back, but it reappeared quickly with new filtering features. The developers say it now has a warning system that asks any teen who posts signs of self-harm if he or she would like to text with a counselor. They claim to have connected about 50,000 teens with counselors. There are a crew of employees who randomly check messages that use key words and who attend to messages that are reported to them.
To learn more about After School, click here.
Yik Yak: For Smartphone, iOS, Android
Yik Yak combines the features of a GPS system (which pinpoints your location) and ‘instant messaging.’ In other words, users can anonymously ‘yak’ to other random users who are within approximately one and a half miles without revealing who they are. Thus, it is an “effectively anonymous” messaging board which requires no user profile.
The developers did include a technology, called “geofencing,” which allows middle schools and high schools to be ‘fenced’ off using the GPS technology. The supposedly app would not be accessible in a fenced-off area.
The developers also implemented self-filtering prompts. If a yakker should key the word “Jewish” or “bomb,” for example, they would get a warning: “Pump the brakes, this yak may contain threatening language. Now it’s probably nothing and you’re probably an awesome person but just know that Yik Yak and law enforcement take threats seriously. So you tell us, is this yak cool to post?”
However, despite geofencing and self-filtering, Yik Yak allows small groups of anonymous people to comment back and forth about real or made-up events, in polite or non-polite ways, with good or ill intentions, in real time.
At a high school having trouble with Yik Yak, the principal tried to intervene by holding an assembly about the proper uses of social media. Within minutes of the assembly beginning, a Yik Yak message said the principal and a female teacher had been spotted together on the nurse’s office couch. Last spring, a sophomore at Middlebury College, was scrolling through Yik Yak in the dining hall when she happened across a post comparing her to a “hippo” and making a sexual references about her. At a college campus, a Yik Yak reading, “I’m gonna [gun emoji] the school at 12:15 p.m. today,” caused panic.
You could make the claim that messages such as these come quickly to the attention of adults and are just as quickly sorted out. But, when the lie reads that sophomore ‘Sally Jones’ was seen with senior ‘Jill Adam’s’ boyfriend, the kids try to attend to the problem themselves, often ineffectively, and do not seek help from adults until the impact of the false message is out of control. The victims of these messages, as they look around the hallways or cafeteria, don’t know where these messages are coming from, but they know the aggression against them is very close. The anonymous nature of Yik Yak brings and additional amount of fear.
To learn more about Yik Yak click here.
Am I Pretty? Videos
Since 2010, Am I Pretty? videos have become a trend or fad among young teenage girls mostly in the 11 – 14 age group. It only takes a few minutes for a young girl to take a selfie video and upload it to YouTube, asking the question “Am I Pretty?” and allowing strangers to rate her appearance through their comments. Many consider this impulsive action to be a form of self-harm, like cutting or purging, particularly if the young girl checks on her video daily for comments. Both the nature of the comments ("Your kinda cute but them teeth...oh gosh no") and the lack of any comments (no attention to one's video) can be toxic to a girl's self-esteem.
Girls who participate say they are looking for honest feedback because they do not believe the compliments they hear so often from their mothers and fathers. They no longer care what their families think and want to know what the world thinks of their appearance. They ask the strangers viewing their video to be honest, saying they can take it. But, when people who are trolling these videos give feedback, can these girls truly take it?
Currently, there are thousands of Am I Pretty? videos on YouTube, but every day many are taken down and others added making it impossible to determine the total number of girls who have participated. Most of the comments young girls receive are positive or supportive; but, the danger in this activity is that, unlike social networking, there is no familiar audience of friends and family to intervene following the post giving support to a young girl who is ridiculed or taunted.
To learn more about Am I Pretty? videos click here.
